You may have sensed a progression in all the posts this year. Searching within ourselves. Examining what moves us, inspires us, and motivates us. Asking ourselves hard questions that will reveal the truth and help us move toward the place we want to be; the place where we’re living our best lives! Reader, we’re still in that progression. Now, we’re facing our fears! When we identify that large, ugly monster blocking the path between us and our best lives, we can defeat it and keep moving forward. Together, we’re going to conquer this step in two parts!
In 2014, when we were still dating, my husband asked, “what’s your biggest fear?” My answer, “A bi-weekly paycheck.” Not death, or spiders, or breaking a bone. Needless to say, my response wasn’t what he expected to hear. Bi-weekly paychecks have never truly been a source of consistency or comfort to me, because I’ve experienced what it’s like to lose my job many times now. That’s where the fear comes in. If I depend on someone else to pay me, rather than myself, it scares me. BIG time!
When it comes to facing our fears, humans act from one of two types of motivation – fear or inspiration. One is not better than the other, because ultimately, it’s one of these two motivations that act as the catalyst to move forward and face our fears.
Reader, look in the mirror and ask yourself these questions.
There’s no right or wrong answer. This is you being honest and understanding where your motivations lie. To be honest, my main motivator is fear. I am motivated by moving away from past situations in order to create something better for myself/my family. I fear getting laid off and figuring out where the money will come from in order to survive and not just scrape by.
Don’t get me wrong, I am consistently inspired by the possibility of the location-independent lifestyle and the business I’m creating as a coach and multi-passionate entrepreneur. However, at the base of all my motivations is the intrinsic desire to move away from the feelings of frustration, stress and emotional pain I experienced as a young professional getting laid-off again and again.
We have to face that fear. Look it in the face, acknowledge it, and kindly ask it to move aside. This may feel silly, but as long as you’re asking yourself questions in the mirror, you may as well answer yourself. Have a conversation. “I see you (fear). I know you’re there. I’d like you to move aside so I can move forward.” You might be surprised at what happens.
Now, let’s utilize our motivations to move past our fears and toward what we want to create, feel and experience. First and foremost, we connect with our higher selves by asking powerful questions highlighted in bold below. I’ve shared my answers to help. If you’re into journaling, this is a great journal exercise. If you’re enjoying the experience talking to yourself in the mirror, use these questions to continue your conversation. It’s up to you how to start your journey toward overcoming fear and stepping into greatness.
1. What do you really want?
This is an extremely important question to ask yourself each and every time you make any move in your life. Ultimately, the action you decide to take will either bring you closer to your goals and desires or pull you further away. Each time you face a roadblock, challenge or new life event, ask yourself again. You have the power to determine the course of action in your life. Last year, while employed at a job I wasn’t enjoying, I was given an ultimatum to be placed on a process improvement plan or use the next 30-days to exit on my own terms. I chose the latter. It allowed me the opportunity to finally embrace my fear and align with the desire I had to work remotely. Finally, I would be able to truly focus on refreshing and rebuilding my life-coaching business. It was a scary decision in the moment, but making that decision changed the course of my life and my mental health for the better. It all came from asking myself what I really wanted.
2. What’s currently getting in your way?
Time for some honest introspection. Feel into your current situation and the roadblocks you’re coming up against. It might also be freeing to get these blocks down on paper. Sometimes, getting them out of your head and onto paper makes them seem less daunting. When I decided to leave my corporate job last October, my main barrier was fear of not having income. I took the leap and gave my 30-days’ notice, and not only did I line up a remote freelance opportunity, but I had freedom to really dive into refreshing my business, creating and launching my podcast (Unapologetically Alive) and taking on my first paying coaching client in years. See what can happen when you identify your barriers and face them head on?
3. What is it about your roadblocks that are creating fear?
It might be one big thing or a series of smaller fears working together to block you from achieving, feeling or knowing what it is you want. Instead of fear, I chose to focus on closing a chapter in my life and looking forward to what was to come. As a result of identifying my biggest fear I was able to shift my energy and focus toward creating a backup plan to support me in my bigger vision.
4. What is filling your time?
How are you spending your time and where are you focusing your energy? Are you binge watching Netflix when you could be doing an online course to help you switch careers? Are you scrolling Instagram or Facebook when you could be writing and outlining the short story you’ve been wanting to create? While figuring out how to financially support my lifestyle after leaving my corporate job, I realized I was wasting my time only looking at jobs in the Seattle city limits. Once I had this, “ah-ha” moment, I pivoted to searching remote freelance opportunities.
Truth Bomb: We’re all guilty of putting off what needs to get done by distracting ourselves with other, oftentimes “shiny,” things. I’m over here raising my hand as a guilty party as well, so don’t feel bad. The key is to practice self-awareness. Acknowledge and make the shift. At the end of the day, we all have the time to do what it is we REALLY want. If we aren’t making the time, we need to ask ourselves if what’s using our time is truly important.
5. What’s holding you back?
Be honest. What is holding you back from taking the next step? Believe it or not, it’s the same answer for all of us. It’s our mindset. The stories and lies we tell ourselves that turn into excuses for not doing, being, acting, and taking chances are all linked to how we think. It’s our mindset that will determine the action or lack of action we take. It’s our choice to shift our mindset to work for us, rather than against us. It’s easy to stay stuck in our old mindsets and lives. I’ve been stuck in my mindset countless times. After a decade on this personal development journey I know that any mindset blocks I’m experiencing can be overcome by seeking out the right tools and support systems. For example, in 2015 I hired a coach who helped me work through negative mindsets that weren’t helping me succeed and grow in my life. She helped me visualize greater possibilities for myself, my life and my business. By incorporating her unique coaching skillsets (daily meditation and channeling at the beginning of our coaching calls), I began to reprogram my thought patterns, my self-confidence, and my believe in what I had to offer as a coach. I began to see tangible results from our work together popping up in my life. Even coaches need coaches! There’s always something or someone out there to hold us up. It’s important to find resources to effectively help us overcome obstacles and move forward with ease and confidence.
6. What are you waiting for?
Seriously, what are you waiting for? Write down this answer and recite it out loud. Hold yourself accountable. Feel into why you’re waiting for – the perfect time, perfect relationship, perfect opportunity to get started? Our dreams don’t work unless we do. If you want to fully realize your dream, it’s time for you to stop waiting and start acting. I’ve found myself waiting many times. It only takes a question like this from my mentor or a personal development book to kick me out of my slump. When I was miserable and stressed in my previous job, I kept waiting for the right full-time job to arise so I could give my two weeks’ notice. But what was I really waiting for? Honestly, it was for the stars to align just right – a job would magically appear allowing me to quit. That was never going to happen. I was waiting to be pushed and finally, was. Are you also waiting for the push?
7. What can you do today to get yourself back on track?
Believe it or not, we all have the power within ourselves to create immediate change for ourselves. We innately know what’s in our best interest. When you ask yourself this question out loud, pay attention to what responses come to you immediately. Write down as many as you can. Then, look through the answers and circle the top one or two actions you can implement today and this week to get back on track.
If you find yourself struggling to move past your fears, I’m here to help you! I’m excited to help you step into your full potential with ease by identifying and removing roadblocks. Get started by scheduling a Complimentary Consultation Call. Together, we’ll dive in and explore what you want to create. There’s no time like today to start feeling more empowered by tapping into your natural skills and learning how to build a more authentic and fulfilling life.